African Love

I read somewhere today that people with a higher IQ tend to be more sexually faithful to their partners. If that’s the case then most people I know are quite dumb. The issue of being faithful is one that I have discussed in great length with my friends. Mostly in bars but I think that makes it more truthful.

 

Our conclusion was, we Africans don’t seem to know how to love (and lil wayne cant teach us either)…or at least to love genuinely.  We don’t give love and relationships as much importance as they deserve. We mostly view relationships as unions of convenience for regular sex and whatnot. When it comes to matters of love we do it sort of half-heartedly and skeptically. In a defensive manner if you will.

Once on a road trip from Meru, me and some three friends Austin, martin and Muchi talked and  for more than three hours  about how fathers show love to their children in Kenya. Unfortunately for me I had little or no contribution to the matter having not being raised by a father. We found it rather disappointing that none of the fathers who had raised them had rarely if ever been to their sport matches or to events that they were being honored.

None of them had shared words of affection with their fathers with most talk restricted to when it was completely necessary or when one was in trouble. Most fathers play the role of a school principal and disciplinarian other than a family member.  Ever noticed how most fathers bring a newspaper to their children’s parents’ day and whatnot and end up burying their heads in them the whole time.

As boys in the early age we learn a lot of behaviors from the males that we are exposed to. In most cases these are older brothers or fathers. We want to act, talk and even walk like these male figures in our lives.  I suppose we also learn how to treat women from how they treat women.

And how do they?

Well, in most homes I have been to, while the lady of the house almost always plays a big role in the family and may be quite respected, is rarely shown love.  I mean how often do you see an African father hug or kiss his wife in front of company or treat her like a queen? Most fathers are busy reading newspapers, yelling commands, watching TV, drinking away with friends at the bar or SHOWING LOVE to the clande.

And so when the sons grow up they adopt the same.

Perhaps the most unfortunate part is that the few African males who do show the affection and love to their women (carrying her handbag doesn’t count though) are viewed as weaklings and are looked down upon by their friends and family.

Am still thinking of the rest of the post…ok bye.