Simple Bird--for winnie

2007

“This is how to rule your book” you said
And then we got to talking and never stopped since
When I gave you that porn CD and you left it in your machine
When you took my Billy-boy and did heaven knows what with it

That trip to maria-poli and the sneaking out to booze
You serving me at the table coz I was too drunk to
Texting all night on borrowed phones
Cheesy pick up lines from me on your desk-daily

Keeping my hands warm and our own secret coded writing
The first kiss and never stopping
Until they almost expelled us for “practically doing it in class”
The fish pond and that little fishy for your birthday

Sitting on the roof of my cousin's flat at midday with the blaring sun
Playing with my little cousin and her toys
My birthday as your pin and you ignoring it anyway
Coz you were mad at me

2008

A different chocolate for you every day
Back seat of the bus to and from school
Our own little world…making each other jealous
Competing for grades and hijacking class arguments
Feeding me during lunch and fooling around at every corner
Making out at the staff room, head offices and janitor’s room
Stripping in the dinning hall and that crazy day at the theatre

 That date at my cousin’s when I said tongue and lips…no teeth
And you cried…and we sat there hugging…silent for hours
Fish burgers at southern fried- the one they tore down
And our initials surrounded by a heart on a tree in upper hill

We had a late lunch date on the last day of school
Unlike the rest of the girls you went home…
And then that magical November afternoon
On my aunt’s couch- then we discovered our own little lake

Both of us trying to find jobs here and there
Feeling darn proud when we got em
Me laughing coz of your bridging at IAT
The few freaky stolen hours in between college and work

Black and gold thongs from enkarasha
Making pop corn that we were too busy to eat
That afternoon we spent at the archives
When you had on that horrible yellow trouser



2009

When I joined college and you were all I had
The full days spent in my empty house
Lying on the flat mattress staring at the ceiling
Covering up in towels to go chase Lee from the door


You at Rosa and Gilli proposing
Buying Yu lines so we could chat all night
Planning out the week to spend lots of time together
Opening your heart to me and me sulking like a baby

And that night when we were role playing on phone
And then the tears and drinking and smoking and hurting
And not talking to each other for the rest of the year



2010

That day we ran into each other at wasanii
And physically sending text messages
And Dexter couldn’t believe the two minutes it took
Before we were all over each other
Leaving Felix perplexed as hell when you left with me

That valentines you got me the expensive watch and
I got you an empty box—it was funnier than it sounds
Walking round town looking for a rose
Having githeri on my floor—our idea of a romantic dinner
Sleeping with the lights on and you lying on the phone.

That morning you came knocking on my window after you got robbed
Making you tea and coffee and juice…and just about any damn drink I could get
Telling you it was going to be okay

The mornings you left home to go to church
And rushed straight to my place
And was back home before 10 a.m.

 My tattoo and how it infuriated you
You touched it, had half a beer and left
How we took it more maturely that time
How you never really left.

That day we were meant to be translating
And I left to go get my girlfriend
And I came back to find you in nothing but my t-shirt
How lucky I was she hadn’t come


2011

All those times you sat me through the salon sessions
You moving out on your own
Getting your hair just how I like it
Hooking up for coffee in town and ending up at my place
Waking you up super early so that you wouldn’t be late for work

That night you decided to surprise me and found 2 naked girls at my house
Grabbing my hand and having them leave so we could eat pie and juice
Laughing at me when I got a damn girlfriend-and when she apparently got cancer

Stealing you from minister’s party and not staying a minute after I came
And stealing you from the Rwandese on your way to the bar
Cold showers in the middle of the night
You stealing my spliff that morning and blacking out for hours

The monthly meetings that turned into weekly ones
That month everyone was too proud to call the other
Though you still checked up on me through your sources a.k.a Mary-ass
That bottle of vodka that you said “haileweshi”
Breakfast at the balcony with your un-ending flask


The two liter cokes and fries that you always brought over
And the late nights you came in just to keep your word
The purple-maroon shirt you always wear at mine’s
Crying to our song
The single item of jewellery you always leave behind


Now

Tonight you are leaving to experience the world
Greener pastures--I wonder what fertilizer they use…

They say apart from silence, nothing expresses the inexpressible like music

I hope life treats you kind
And I hope you have all that you dream of
I wish you joy and happiness
And above all this…I wish you love

Now fly away simple bird that feeds on grain and nectar…fly away!

I shall see you again…this side or the next…LML.

dude! whats your problem?

For the purpose of this blog I shall define three words.

Pleasant (according to the oxford dictionary)-friendly and polite…enjoyable, pleasing and attractive.

Unpleasant-the opposite of pleasant.

Fapping (according to the urban dictionary)- the act of touching oneself, preferably on your roommates bed. Can also be done at mealtimes in the bathroom if one can’t wait to get back to the room.

Now the third word has absolutely no purpose in this blog. I just thought I should throw that out there.

So on my way home today I met this very unpleasant guy. Well, to be fair I didn’t meet him we rode in the same matatu. Now from the moment I saw this guy I knew he had a bad vibe around him. From the very first look I knew he was unpleasant. Here is why;

So am walking to the stage and am standing there trying to figure which matatu has the most girls and this guy pushes me. “harakisha!” he says. So I turn back and there is this very unpleasant looking guy growling at me. So I let him pass and I get into a matatu. He stands there for like a minute then gets into the same mat as me and sits next to me…and you wonder what the hurry was about.

Mr. unpleasant then goes on to loudly complain about everything from the conductor, to the fare prices and even the spaces between when songs change. Now in the seat ahead of us was a very pleasant little girl who from the looks of her pleasant little balloon animal had a very pleasant day. The little girl thought it nice to share her balloon elephant with us and wove the animal in our faces laughing. I found it quite pleasant…but not Mr. Unpleasant…he knocked the little balloon elephant away.

People’s lives are hard, I mean there are more then 2 million Kenyans facing starvation, someone probably dying in the hospital and my friend Ricky got beaten up by 4 conductors and his glorified ideos was taken away. But what does rubbing it on people change?

And its not like Mr. unpleasant was having it that bad, he paid for his fare with a 500 shilling note and he was rocking his head to the loud raga or dancehall songs playing in the vehicle. (The self proclaimed king of modern slang muchi tells me that they no longer call it ragga).  And when the conductor asked me if I had any change I said “no…sorry”. Mr.Unpleasnt looked at me disgustingly. Probably thinking I was a pussy for saying sorry.

Well, luckily I got off the vehicle before him and to no surprise he didn’t want to move his legs so I could pass. For a second, I thought of stepping on his feet, but am a poor eater and very skinny so a punch from him would probably have knocked me out. Thankfully am not as stupid as I am skinny.

So I finally made my way out of the vehicle and am not one to hold grudges but I hope that Mr. Unpleasant fell in a ditch when he got off.

If you have to be unpleasant…do it on Monday!

borrowed thoughts on religion

disclaimer: this is not my writing but rather that of Jeff Lilly from druid journal with a few changes by me.

Six Arguments Against Religion I: A Poor Return on Investment

There are other arguments, but they are mostly variants or derivatives the ones in this list, or are simply blatantly wrong. A couple of quick examples of the latter:

Science Says There Is No God.

The argument here is that Science can find no evidence of God, hence he does not exist. This argument shows a misunderstanding of both religion and science. It’s true that some religions still make claims about the world that are demonstrably false — that everything started less than 10,000 years ago, that evolution doesn’t happen, etc. — but the larger purpose of religion is to provide answers to universal questions about purpose and meaning, and a framework of moral belief and action. For this, the history and structure of the universe is not necessarily relevant. Modern religions rarely claim history, biology, and cosmology as matters of faith. And God is, by his nature, not something you can perform experiments on; so science simply has nothing to say about him.

An Omnipotent God is Logically Inconsistent.

Can God create a rock so heavy he can’t lift it? Why would an omnipotent God allow evil into the world? These are great questions. The first, simplest answer is that God isn’t omnipotent. I subscribe to this view. Another is that God isomnipotent, but can’t do things that are logically impossible (like make 2 + 1 = 4, or create a rock so heavy he can’t lift it, or give humans free will while preventing them from doing evil). Another view is that God is omnipotent, and our little biochemical brains just don’t know all the answers.

Now that’s out of the way, let’s tackle some harder ones. I’m going to progress from the simpler ones to the subtler ones. The arguments are:

• If you’re religion is false, you’ve wasted years of your time, money, and life.
• Religious beliefs are frequently inconsistent.
• Religion discourages independent thought and encourages submissiveness.
• Religion encourages violence and disrespect of others by dividing people into the “in” group and the “out” group.
• Religion discourages true virtue by setting up laws and punishments.
• Picking just one belief system and sticking with it is not the best path.

Religion:  A Poor Return on Investment?

What if your beliefs are wrong?

Most religions require a significant investment of time, money, and effort. Besides learning all the rituals, the stories, the histories, the laws and regulations, there’s all the sermons you listen to. Most religions require (or at least very strongly suggest) that you support them monetarily, as well, and trust that the money is being put to good use.

If your religion is wrong, then… well, it’s a huge, huge waste. Add up all the wasted time and money from one person, and multiply by billions of believers, and it’s a staggering total.

Pascal’s famous wager (you might as well believe in God, because if he’s real you gain tremendously, and if he’s not you’ve lost nothing) doesn’t take these costs into account. Perhaps they’re a small price to pay in exchange for your soul, but it’s still a significant part of your life that you aren’t getting back. And if you’ve chosen the wrong religion, you’ve really lost out. How can you know which one is right?

Papers, Please

It’s like you’re standing outside the gates of the City of God, and to get in, you’ve got to buy the right badge. And there are a bunch of people standing outside, trying to sell you badges. Which is the right one? Is it the most expensive one? The shiniest? The one you personally like best? The one sold by the most trustworthy face? The one your parents bought?…

This is a serious issue. But this problem isn’t unique to religion. For any human endeavor — whether it’s trying to find breakfast, or trying to go to the moon — there are risks involved, and the possibility of losing everything. The difference here is that the churches of the world have raised the stakes considerably, by claiming infallibility, and by saying that your very soul is on the line. The stakes have become so high that violence tends to erupt between factions.

It is essential to realize that religion is a human construction, a tool for reaching and communicating with Spirit. Like any human construction, it is fallible and faulty in some places, genius in others. Recognize this and know the risks before you enter into it; and look with understanding and compassion on those who work with different tools.

Of course, knowing this just makes it even more difficult to choose a badge, doesn’t it? So consider these questions.

Why do you think you can’t you make your own badge? After all, you want something done right, you should do it yourself. For something as important as this, you want the highest possible quality.

Why do you think you have to wear just one badge? The people selling you badges tend to frown on that, but if they’re like most people, they just want all your money, and your children’s as well.

no God

in my humble opinion, God does not exist...that is all.

tumekuja chokoza-R.I.P Mercy Keino

There have been great women in history. Some that will never be forgotten; at least as far as history books are concerned.

Clara barton for instance was the organizer and founder of the American red cross which has since grown to be one of the leading humanitarian organizations in the world.

 And take the forceful and fearless Margaret Brent who was the first to ask for women’s  voting rights in the 1600’s and was probably the world’s first feminist (I stand to be corrected on that though).

 And Eva Peron the former first lady of Argentina whose charity organization built homes for the poor and homeless and provided free healthcare to citizens

.

 And who can forget Rosa parks who refused to give up her seat on a bus for a white passenger; the mother of modern day civil rights.

Closer home, we have the world re-known conservationist Wangari Maathai, politician Martha karua, human rights activist, now judge, Njoki Ndungu just to mention a few. 

Oh and the vice president hopeful Esther Arunga…or maybe not.

These are all great women and perhaps thousands maybe millions unrecognized respectful women wander out there changing the world and sacrificing their lives for their fellow women and men.

 Mercy Keino (with all due respect because am basing my argument on suspicion) in my humble opinion does not make this list. You will remember her as the 25 year old UoN masters student who was knocked down by a car on the road to or from westlands…or if you know better than the Kenya Police was killed by friends or associates or even a flamboyant local MP himself.

Personally I choose to believe the police. I am sure their investigation techniques are quite sophisticated. Did you see that investigator on TV?  The one inspecting the green Mercedes Benz? He seemed quite knowledgeable of his expertise…I mean he had on a lab coat and white gloves…white gloves! That should be enough to figure out everything. Who needs DNA, hair fragments or microscopes when you have intelligence…and white gloves? But the efficiency of our very talented and very capable police force is the discussion for another day.

So well back to mercy, I have no personal issue with her. She was on her masters and getting married later this year which is pretty impressive plus she was quite a looker. What I have an issue with though is the group she represents; college and post-teen girls. Yes, those between nineteen and about twenty six. The ones who are yet to secure a meaningful source of employment but are addicted to the expensive fast life. The ones that would give a foot and a leg for a night out in town drinking Smirnoff ice and smoking embassy lights. The ones skimpily clad and with acquired twangs. The ones who brag about the cars they were picked in and the older men they are dating. The ones you will see spotting fake designer handbags and expensive, often pink smart phones that neither they nor their parents paid for.

Being from a certain private university along Thika road (to quote a certain Sunday nation author), I am quite familiar with this kind of girls. You would not tell who they were by seeing them in class or the library corridors, but god forbid you should go out to a club where the top working men of the nation hang out. Say bachus, Havana and a few reputable out of town hang out joints.

These girls, you will not see around campus during the weekends or at your hip college party where they serve good old Kibao and Popov. No sir, that is not classy enough for them. You will not see them at changes or ‘Chipo Central’ as my friends and I call it sipping a 180/= beer either. No good sir, they are at expensive apartments, 4-star hotel rooms, Naivasha get aways or spending the weekend at the coast. All at the expense of a certain married good gentleman; a politician, top company executive or successful businessman looking for a thrill or a boost of ego.

No wait, actually you will every now and then see these “classy” girls at your local cheap bar or at chipo central but they will be in perks and with one mission…”chokoza”. You will recognize the word as a title for quite a popular song by two quite talented and quite reputable ladies…I hope. Well not the talent part because their musical prowess is not in question. About reputable the reputable part… the internet is an ugly place with underwear pictures, pictures suggesting lesbianism and whatnot. 

Am diverging again…where was I?  Oh yes…”chokoza.”

Chokoza is a swahili term for tease or ramble (forgive my translation).  And the popular song is about just that…teasing. Good looking ladies come to a club, stun the male folk with their long legs and dancing techniques, extract a few drinks from them and then scatter before returning any favor so to speak. 

So when you see these classy girls at your local bar or at chipo central, make no mistake. They are not there to be chipod by you. They are there merely to assure themselves of their beauty, dance a little, flirt, chokoza a few college kids spending their weekly pocket money, and scamper leaving their chokozwad lot with fake phone numbers and the scent of expensive cologne. The chokozwad lot will then follow the girls outside in a gesture of a good gentleman-ship or watch them from the balcony of chipo central only to  see them picked up in a an expensive tinted European car. They are off for the night to an expensive apartment in the leafy suburbs or to a private party at an off the radar private club. To be seen again on Monday in class or library corridors.

Sigh…I don’t mean to be judgmental after all we are all in search of the good life whether you are paying for it yourself or exchanging it for sex with someone’s successful husband. And I am sure some of these ‘classy’ girls have very good reasons for their actions. Some are from very poor families and can barely afford pink smart phones and fake designer handbags. These are very essential things for a young lady in college and it’s not like there are any women in the world who have overcome difficulties and poverty to become great without the help of a rich older man. 

With all due respect to the late Mercy Keino and her memory I know it is quite insensitive to use hers as an example with the investigations not complete, but I lack a better reference point. Here is what I am saying, these girls engage in quite a lucrative and financially fulfilling venture that is also quite dishonest and greedy. And just like any dishonest and greedy venture such as drug trafficking and other crimes, there are bound to be a few demises every now and then.

So when one of these classy girls is ran down by a car (or several cars) or is roughened up and killed by a rich man’s bodyguards or associates in unexplained circumstances…it is in my humble opinion a just a professional hazard. A profession they took up and have been engaging in willingly. It comes with the job. 

But what do I know? I am just a pro-teen student from a private university along Thika road. The kind who attends college parties where good old kibao and popov is served. The kind that frequents chipo central on my saved pocket money…the kind that gets chokozwad.

Rest in peace Mercy Keino and I hope the boys in white gloves and lab coats come up with a conclusive investigation into your death. And I hope those with expensive apartments and European tinted cars that are responsible for your demise are brought to book. At least for the sake of the remaining ‘classy’ girls from my private university along Thika road.  

lift up your empty plates and sufurias and march on

Kenya is winning. Well at least as far as athletics is concerned. We are doing well on that end but as far as food and fuel prices are concerned, just like most of the world, we are loosing.

I went home this evening with finance minister and assistant Prime Minister Uhuru. Well, to be fair his motorcade sped past my over-priced “matatu”. His motorcade by the way consisted of two expensive fuel guzzlers. A few minutes later I saw an uninterested Uhuru announcing a 2 shilling fuel reduction on the 9 o’clock news . It got me thinking; our leaders have no idea what we are raising hell over. 

Here is why I think so, fuel prices rose by around 13 shillings and for the leaders who already spend tens of thousands of shillings on fuel every month, it meant nothing for their expenditure but a little extra pocket change they probably did not notice.  But what does the rise mean for the common mwananchi? Well, personally I’d pay about fifty shillings from home to town but now have to pay a hundred.

The effect trickles down to food prices as well and again, I highly doubt an increase in maize flour by a few shillings would hurt the mheshimiwa’s wife’s pocket. Ugali is probably not the staple food at the mheshimiwa’s house anyway. 

It is for this reason that I support Kenyans picking up their empty plates and sufurias and taking to the streets tomorrow. Perhaps this might open our leader’s eyes more. My only hope is that the demonstration does not turn into a riot as seen before. It beats the logic to protest against economical difficulty while destroying property.

Looking at Uganda I am proud of the Kenyan government. There is an adage “I might not agree with what you have to say but I shall by all means fight for your right to say it”. Museveni and the Ugandan government or whoever is in charge of banning protests in Uganda must have never heard of this adage. The Ugandan official opposition leader has for the third time in less than a week been manhandled and arrested while attempting to peacefully walk to work. Now, museveni must be trying to shatter the man’s spirit but dear sir, the more attention and resistance you give Besigye, the more you make his plight relevant. Doesn’t this fellow have advisers? 

All in all it is good show of leadership on Besigye’s side. It’s absurd for a government to continuously ignore its people’s cries. Its more absurd for the same government to allegedly spend an equivalent of ksh.60  billion on fighter jets to prepare for heaven knows what war while its people bear with sky-rocketing inflation rates.

I would like to see any of our leaders walk from Karen or whatever leafy suburb they live in to the city. After all, the IDP’s did almost 140 kilometers to come plead their very important case and none of the politicians came to their rescue.

sod off col.GADDAFI (for Fally)

Although I have not been keenly following the arab world revolution, the Libyan case has come to my attention as one that is quite interesting. In the recent past I have found that it is best to not pay too much attention on issues that I have no control of and focus instead obn those that I do.

Of late however, I have started using twitter and while the whole thing is a disaster and not half as good as facebook as far as socializing goes, it is quite informative on world politics and trends. So GMA (good morning  America)  morning news had it that officials close to Gaddafi  were looking into exile as a possible option for them should the worst come to the worst.

This got me thinking and reading more into the Libyan issue. 1^st things first, a Ugandan fellow known as Museveni does not believe that the west should interfere in the issue…so says the person whose country relies  heavily on the west to take care of its AIDS victims and other poverty stricken citizens through the west’s NGO’s.  What if the west was not to interfere with his little (yet not so little considering we are talking about hundreds of thousands of the “sebos” and “nyabos”)  issue?

I further read on something that shocked me rather than interested me: Israel has promised Gaddafi up to 50,000 troops to aid him in his struggle. Now, why would you aid a leader to fight his own people? This however does not come as a surprise, Libya under Gaddafi has in the past worked with Israel and apartheid south Africa in developing deadly germ and chemical weapons that were used by south Africa in Angola and elsewhere leaving thousands dead.

I personally support what the European Union and the rest of the world that is ant-gaddafi are doing. We do not have to wait for another Rwanda to stop civilian killings by their own leader. I personally have nothing against Gaddafi as a person; on the contrary I think he’s got swag. I just do not think as one columnist put it, that it is fair to force a whole country to live by the rules you wrote in an old book with a worn out green cover.

Another thing, why on earth does Gaddafi’s son speak for the government?  These guys are unbelievable. You cannot run a whole government as if it was  a family factory. That the AU has done too little too late concerning the issue is a show enough that the other African leaders are afraid the same will happen to them. They are living by the adage that “if you live in a glass house you should not throw stones”. Its no wonder most of the leaders that were over thrown in the recent past were so busy looking at the horizon where they would rule forever to notice the people uprising at their feet.

So to the EU, USA, NATO and whoever else is helping those rebels I say Godspeed. And to the people of Libya   “POWER UNTO YOU!! FIGHT ON!!”

For those that argue with Gaddafi’s track record of helping the youth and making Libya what it is today, I leave you with the words of yet another columnist

 “If a man in his youth was graceful and morally upright but in his manhood became a mass murderer, surely, he cannot be judged by his history but by his present”